guest blogger: reflections on creativity and control issues

one of the things that jamie and i have bonded over is crafts. we both love "visual arts" and (i think) we both have an eye for it. you name it: beading, making cards, painting, decorating, making posters for fundraising events....
add to this the fact that we're both perfectionists: "if i want something done right, i'll just do it myself!"
while jamie does lots of crafts, her main outlet is making beautiful jewellery. i don't participate in as many (i'm lazy) but my main go-to is making cards (like scrapbooking, but i only do cards). jamie is one of very few people who i like helping me with cards or wedding invitations, and who i trust to use my equipment unsupervised.
so why am i telling you this?
one of the ladies at work is retiring next week and our 'team' is making her a scrapbook keepsake instead of a card. it's a great idea, she's going to love it, and everyone on the team is very enthusiastic about it.
however. being the one with all of the materials (equipment, glue, gadgets, cutters, punches, paper, ribbon, knowledge) i have been recruited by the managers to assist with this...and use my stuff. i will be reimbursed, that's not the issue. i like this kind of stuff, so my time is not an issue. i'm a brown-noser, so being involved is not an issue. what are the issues? i like to be in control. i am a perfectionist. i (think i) know what looks good - and what doesn't.
each team member has been asked to participate in making a page for the book, and most have come to help. due to my aforementioned "issues" i have been straining to hold myself back from freaking on my teamates for the last 5 lunch hours.
i am fully aware that these "issues" are my issues. my brain knows this activity's difficulty has nothing to do with these ladies doing anything wrong...they're just not doing it my way!

but then there are things that to me are common sense:
- if you're using a 12x12 piece of paper, don't cut a shape out of the exact middle of the page.
- if you're going to cut some of my expensive ribbon, use it.
- if we set aside matching sets of paper, use them and nothing else. (ok, that one's me...)
- if we're running out of glue, don't use too much.
- if the easy glue runs out, don't leave the lid off of the fast drying expensive glue.
- if you don't think you're going to be any good at this activity, stay away from it! (again, that's me, and something i would never say out loud!)

so, now my vent is over and the good news is that there is one page left to complete. soon i will no longer have to deal with these silly stressors, nor will i have to feel guilty about being such a pickle-butt with my supplies. it stresses me out!
i feel bad for any future children i may have...they're going to despise craft time with mommy.