i'll never be able to do it right.

you know when you just wish you were alexa chung, and you could create a book of things that just happened in your brain?
for example. mine would look a little bit like this:
chapter 1: dating mishaps, and all the things that have occurred jamie shea's love life (including a guy who broke his best friend's ankle in my honour, and the really beautiful and dim as the lowest setting on a lamp dimmer guy)... including stories never before released to friends as they are THAT ABSURD and ridiculous.
chapter 2: bands i really like - not arranged by genre, or date of album release, or anything other than when i think of them. OH. and how good their 90's videos were (like, for example, 5ive would win, with THIS incredible video. bowling alley? check.
chapter 3: photos of really cute animals doing really cute things (exhibit a.)
chapter 4: serious things that have happened to me in life (guys - i can be serious!)
chapter 5: riddles, jokes, brain teasers, more jokes (man, i love jokes), and maybe some sudoku.
chapter 6: maybe some observations from public transportation. because we all know how many stories come from a bus ride through the 'rough part of town'.
chapter 7: fiction. about anything really.
chapter 8: a compilation of the last year of my horoscope. with a related daily journal - just to see how the stars lined up.

but actually - i started a course last night, and we were asked to set an intention. things we intended to attain by the end of 3.5 months. one of the things on my list - something that i've been grappling with a lot lately - was writing. writing everyday. being proud of my writing. sharing my writing. making writing a habit, and a priority. most of my concern comes when people ask me, 'what do you want your book to be about?', and i have no response. because i don't have a single solitary clue what i want it to be about.
and at the end of the day, i have to make that not matter. because when that matters, i spend hours thinking and stressing about what to write, what steps i can take, and i torture myself when i don't do it 'right'.
well. here's to not doing it 'right'. here's to simple doing it. and enjoying the ride. and who cares what it ends up looking like.
all i know is, if i end up HALF as happy as that adorable little piglet, i'll be winning.