today, and this time last year, and this time the year before that, i've posted the same essay on facebook. an essay on the dis-ease of being busy. and each year, it seems to come at the most perfect time. i'm not sure whether november the 9th is a particularly tough day for me, or just falls during a time of the year during which i tend to beat myself up more than other times. either way, this essay comes to me like a gift. a reminder. a nudge.
Read Moreessays
haters... can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.
there are some people in this world who can't stand me.
here's an essay i wrote on living with haters, for ambition in transition.
oh come on. we've all had them. don't give me that look.
standing still // moving quickly
not much to say today.... sorry friends. it's been a long 2 weeks, 1 week, weekend, coupla days. however, one of my fave writers on the net wrote something amazing, that i want to share. it really resonates with me as i go through this weird/awesome/awkward/unsure/open ended time in my life (do 'times in our lives' ever end?? do we ever just get to BE??!), and i read it and re-read it lotsa times.
i think you'll dig it. it means something to everyone. even if you're the opposite of a person who stays in one place.
i have to say, i'm still a person who seeks adventure, and wants to move.... constantly. maybe partially it's the ADHD, but i can confidently say it's mostly a longing for what else is out there. what have i missed? where else can i start fresh, and learn to love? so maybe one place isn't yet for me. maybe one place isn't about growing up, but instead becoming sure about you, and what is best/good/the right thing for you. that's what i like about this piece.... the exploration of doing what feels right. whether it's staying in one place, or jumping on a plane.
i think you'll dig it. it means something to everyone. even if you're the opposite of a person who stays in one place.
VANCOUVER (photo by me from my vancouver vacation - on pinterest)
a few moments that settled more
deeply with me in the essay....
"Every time I quit it wasn’t because I was bored or couldn’t do the work, but because I felt like I had been there long enough and I needed to experience more life, more places, and learn more about people.
"Every time I quit it wasn’t because I was bored or couldn’t do the work, but because I felt like I had been there long enough and I needed to experience more life, more places, and learn more about people.
....Of course,
this goes against the advice of all the Bohemian and Beatnik writers and
countless other artists who proselytize life in motion. There comes a time when you’re
either traveling to gain experience or you’re running away when things get
hard. I want to stay and fight. I want to fight my restlessness. I want to fight the impulse to drain
my bank account as soon as it gets full enough. I want to build something here.
The idea of this
isn’t romantic, I know that. It’s not riding the rails or living down and out
or scraping by for your art. There’s no great adventure in signing on for
another year. But my heroes have changed. Now I’m shooting for Carver and
Bellow, maybe even Faulkner or McCarthy. As much as I loved Kerouac and
Bukowski as a young man, I’m moving on. I’ve written those books. It’s time to
aim at different targets.
...I can’t say
this is my proper place, where I should be for the rest of my life. I have no
intention of calling that shot. I’ll fight to make it work for as long as I can
and if that doesn’t work I’ll make a change. But
at least this time I’m not looking for another place to save me. Places never
do."
TORONTO (photo by jeff kalman - on pinterest)
i have to say, i'm still a person who seeks adventure, and wants to move.... constantly. maybe partially it's the ADHD, but i can confidently say it's mostly a longing for what else is out there. what have i missed? where else can i start fresh, and learn to love? so maybe one place isn't yet for me. maybe one place isn't about growing up, but instead becoming sure about you, and what is best/good/the right thing for you. that's what i like about this piece.... the exploration of doing what feels right. whether it's staying in one place, or jumping on a plane.
thanks
bart, for exploring.