i'm feeling stuck.
creatively, it seems i come home from work - where i'm asked to be creative all day long - and i have exhausted all of that creativity locked up inside of me. it's being used for different things - writing, instagramming, managing communities, dreaming up events and making sure we're nailing our digital strategy as a whole - and yet, i come home, i look at my notebook and my jewelry-making supplies, and i feel a giant brick wall. i can't describe it... the feeling of complete and total blank, where creative thoughts and dreams, and words and images once floated in my subconscious.
it's a feeling of complete and utter distraction and distraught. a feeling that i'll never get that something back. it's lost forever - somewhere in the world of digital and social strategy as a 'day job'.
why can't we have both? why is it that we exhaust our energy in our work for others, and when it comes to pleasing our own hearts, and learning to ooze what makes us happy, we slip up?
this weekend, i sat down with a movie qued up on my computer, and spread out my jewelry supplies - newly acquired vintage chain, some charms and pieces i'm really excited about. some cord that i've been wanting to experiment with, and some of my fall back faves - brass chain in beautiful links. i settled in to create, and... nothing. i picked up pieces of chain, and laid it back down. i looked at it all laid out, and couldn't bring myself to even put two pieces together.
it's heartbreaking - losing a piece of ourselves. losing something that makes us, us.
creatively, it seems i come home from work - where i'm asked to be creative all day long - and i have exhausted all of that creativity locked up inside of me. it's being used for different things - writing, instagramming, managing communities, dreaming up events and making sure we're nailing our digital strategy as a whole - and yet, i come home, i look at my notebook and my jewelry-making supplies, and i feel a giant brick wall. i can't describe it... the feeling of complete and total blank, where creative thoughts and dreams, and words and images once floated in my subconscious.
it's a feeling of complete and utter distraction and distraught. a feeling that i'll never get that something back. it's lost forever - somewhere in the world of digital and social strategy as a 'day job'.
why can't we have both? why is it that we exhaust our energy in our work for others, and when it comes to pleasing our own hearts, and learning to ooze what makes us happy, we slip up?
it's heartbreaking - losing a piece of ourselves. losing something that makes us, us.
i'll find it. it's just about learning the balance. and that.... that i haven't yet figured out.