toronto

"but i think the people genuinely want to get along with each other"

i received an email from a friend yesterday morning - as soon as i woke up. and though he concluded his email with a disclaimer stating 'these are my thoughts. given i have only lived in southern ontario, i don't know that they have any real value'.
i was totally haunted by every piece of what he said.

"i've found that a lot of people that leave toronto miss it. it's hard to explain because it isn't a beautiful city and it has its warts and it takes itself too seriously but i think the people genuinely want to get along with each other and from that part of it there are lots of friends to be made. toronto isn't good at relaxing but i think it wants to be inclusive which makes it a good place to live"

i'd love to say i wrote this. i'd love to say that i'd so fully grasped the english language that i could find some effectivity in banal language - enough so that i could perfectly describe the city that i swear i so intimately know, and so lovingly/fondly keep in my thoughts daily.
not to say i wish to know the lopsided and monotonous side of banality - but instead the side my friend uses so well. the side that holds a thing so delicately that complicated words aren't necessary. instead, the necessity lies only in capturing exactly what it is.
that's all to say.... toronto is just that. and man... i miss it.

yoga in a castle beats all other yogas

guys. i did yoga in a CASTLE.
the guest of honour... casa loma (photo from chelsey)

as i wind down on my time in toronto - as people do at any time when they are running out of time in a place - i wanted to commit to giving myself time to play with toronto. to enjoy it the way we sometimes forget to when we're so entrenched in the day to day. i wanted to allow myself the time and money to do some of the things that people perceive torontonians as doing a lot of... and that most of us have likely not done. time to spend in independent art galleries  time to go to the small bars i always promised myself i would; time to get to bluegrass at the silver dollar, with a friend who always asks. things that have been on my ongoing, constantly cycling to-do list for the duration of my stay in this amazing city.
and now, i find myself with only a month left here, and i'm running out of time to do all of the things i have told myself for 5 years i would do "next week".
needless to say, when i walked into lululemon (TO BROWSE ONLY....... ha) and saw that they were hosting a community yoga class to live music at casa loma, i wrote it in my planner (in PEN), and declined plans for almost a month to be able to make it.
photo from kristi

let me just say this, right off the top: if you ever have the chance to do yoga accompanied by live music, do. not. hesitate.
essentially, the amazing team at the eaton's centre lulu, combined everyone's love of all things yoga, with the amazing magic of being in a castle. THEN, they added live music. and love was made into the perfect environment. i can't imagine i'll ever have this kind of an opportunity  and because of that, i knew i could not afford (mentally, emotionally, and monetarily - because it was FREE NINETY NINE) to miss this chance.
awesome (photo from kristi)

we arrived on one of the most yucky nights we've had in toronto this 'winter', sort of feeling dismal and gross about the wet and 'snowy' weather. we were bundled from head to toe in our gear, and knew that at some point we'd be required to strip down and house our clothing items... somewhere. y'all know yoga clothes don't leave room for pockets roomy enough to store winter boots. as i am with everything new (here is a large admittance from the mind of jamie) i was nervous. i get worked up and hesitant about the unknown. i get nervous and scared that i'll be the only one who doesn't know what i'm doing, and be the isolated event in which someone falls on their face and fails. 
and may i remind you, that 2 years ago, i broke my back, and i've only done 1 organized yoga class since that time? nervous meter mounting as we walked into the castle (i'll have a game on who can count the number of times i reiterate that i did yoga in a CASTLE - prize included). what to expect; would i fail?; would my back give out?; what if i was the only one dressed the way i was, and who didn't know the positions?
much was relieved when we entered the doors. you know that feeling when you're nervous to see an old friend? worried you may not have a ton to talk about, and you may end up with silences filled by awkward stares and hesitant observational commentary? and then, you sit down, and the conversation flows like you're still sitting with them in high school again - as though time had never passed? welcome to the nostalgia i felt as soon as i walking into the castle. lululemon always has the most lovely of people working for them - and of course, they were all there, lining the halls to help everyone, every step of the way. sign the waiver, check your coat, boots along the wall, and hang out in this castle before heading in to do some yoga. so we did just that. we signed the streamline and clear waivers, we checked our coats in a coat check that bars could take a number from, and then left our boots, bags and excess clothing against the wall in the main room. 

put your legs up in the air, put your legs up, in the air (homage to this song) - photo from kristi
when we were all brought into the main room, jeff mentioned it was likely a library. ok - now i feel like belle from beauty in the beast. minus a prince turned monster, PLUS yoga and a band (no hate towards B & the B - my fave disney movie ever in the world). after laying out our mats, getting all up close and personal (trying to allow as many people in the room for the class as possible), and meeting the instructors (and the lovely band), we got down to business.
the lovely instructors (i wish i knew their names!) brought us through an amazing class. some well timed sun salutations, and some GREAT strength poses. we did some balance, and some stretches, and all the while, tanika charles and the wonderfuls played in the background. i had a front row seat for music absorption - made it a BIT difficult to hear the instructors at times, but i attribute that to the castle ceilings, and my poor hearing. when i felt like i was missing instruction, i just staying in my downward dog longer, and listened to the band.
perfection.
have i mentioned that it was in a castle??
check out that butt (just joking, please ignore my boring yoga gear). and my excitable (only to me) ponytail! (photo from kristi)

afterwards, after a loooooong shavasana, we collected ourselves, gave thanks and reveled in a bit of the wonder that was doing yoga in a castle, and then gave our much deserved applause to the instructors, the band, and the eaton's centre staff for coordinating such an amazing experience. 
we rolled up our mats, watched people get some fruit and chocolate, and filled our water bottles with lemons and some cold water, and then collected our things to leave. 
i've never much been the kind of person for whom yoga spiritually affected. i began yoga as a way to stretch and strengthen for running, and then continued yoga because of the flexibility and focus it gave me. but i will say this - there's something magical about yoga in such a well linked community, in such a spiritual and old place, and among a group of people so enthusiastic about the practice that they are basically giddy. 
guys. the band was (mostly) barefoot. everyone was so into it, it was invigorating. 
i've been left thinking of it, and almost only it. and it will be on my mind as i wrap up in toronto. what a perfect way to leave.

(if you are an owner of any of these photos, and would like me to remove, no problem! let me know)

a little piece of home

i live in an area of town that some people shy away from. i get side eyed a lot when i mention my area, and people are hesitant to come visit. i live just north of parkdale... which some people call 'brockton'. it's filled with a weird and wonderful mix of people - little portugal comprises a large portion of the residents, so my street is filled with hipster parents, single renters, and old portuguese grandmothers - including one who recently helped me get my car out of the snow with her bag of salt, and broken english.
it's one of my favourite places in the world. there's a mix of lovely little shops and restaurants - and close enough to ossington that i get all the benefits of the bars and restaurants that i could ever dream of - and yet, far enough away that i get a little neighbourhood, and all the perfect things that come from tree lined streets, and friendly old portuguese men.
and yet, there is still some hesitance from people. the bars aren't polished. the restaurants hang vintage curtains, and despite how lovely and smiley its inhabitants are, people often only see the broken down convenience stores and old flashing neon lights of the chinese/canadian food store on the corner. so no matter how hard i tried, i could never convince people of its charm. people who could never ever get past the dirt around the edges.
christian mackie has pulled together a wonderful collection of photographs that display brockton in it's finest hour. gritty, not always warm, and yet still home. he portrays the spaces that could be seemingly heartless and off-putting  and pulls out what all of us who live here, love about it. the wonderful architecture that one only gets from living in an old house; the wonderful juxtaposition of old and new; discarded items that decorate the streets. all the things that give this space it's character. all the things i love about brockton.
check out his brockton set here. and, all of his other photos here. great website. you can also find christian on instagram.

my hood





despite being a busy person, i spend a lot of time alone.
things that get me through: the tv show on HBO, "The Riches"; perrier, salsa and rice cakes; creating; walking.
i was sitting on a few escalated rocks, drinking some perrier, at the intersection about 6 blocks away from my apartment, and a man almost broke his neck looking at me, and then looked away, and shook his neck. he's obviously not fond of being alone.
i love my time alone - and the time it gives my mind.