2012 in review

my (new year) (long long) weekend in summary

again, a brief one with more photos than words, because it was a busy one, filled with travelling and lots of celebration... and it's a new year, so no focusing on the past allowed!
a fortune that was appropriately timed, directly following a conversation about my jewelry with my cousin laura - i'm planning on it!; gift exchanges, cider and laughter with the lovely ladies i donned with at Laurier - our yearly tradition, no matter where in the world we are; the snowfall on the (frozen) lake; heidi and i puffed up with warm clothes; my sister kelly and some target practice (us shea girls are a force to be reckoned with on a BB gun; helping tow on NYE; a new year wouldn't be started correctly without the spicebox; an INTENSE game with friends; 90% of attendees were shot in the ass at some point during this evening; me desperately trying to see photos of my new niece  with the worst cell service known to humanity; we have a habit of drawing people into our ridiculous traditions - and we also take 'champagne showers' in the most literal sense (my hair was crunchy the next morning); happy champagne! i mean... new year :)
this new years weekend was..... GO:
friday night after stopping to get my planner (the same one, year after year) at chapters, jeff and i went home, had some wine and 'appitizers (crackers and vegan pate), and then dinner at libretto. woke up late saturday, and took our time - including setting some stuff up on my iPad, watching some six feet under, 3 lunches, and packing - and then headed first to drop jeff off, and then to waterloo for a meeting of the ladies i RA'd with at laurier - an annual tradition. with alex home from thailand, courtney (and dog ellie) coming from london, and leigh coming from sarnia, we all piled into karli's home (after some interesting car-in-snow schenanigans - can you say light car stuck for 20 minutes in the middle of the roundabout? yes, me), and settled in for a night of catch up, food, cider (which alex doesn't get in thailand), and love. though space jam called for our viewing pleasure at about 2am, we decided it was time for bed. woke up after a bit of a sleep in on Sunday, and after breakfast (ish), and some more talk with karli, sean and leigh, i headed out to meet jeff, see my parents and sister (before she left to go back to nova scotia for school), and then depart for the cottage for new years. a 4 hour drive, some snow, lots of tea, and some introspection about why we chose somewhere 4 hours away for new years LATER, we arrived, and spent the evening with 11 other people, some food, and some drinks. slept very poorly (air mattress + middle of a living room + people up until 4am = no sleep. at all), and spent monday exhausted. but still managed to enjoy the newly fallen snow with a bit of a walk (alone - perfect), some time in the snow with new snow pants, and some target practice with the boys. then, warmed up and spent the rest of the day eating, listening to music, a jaunt into town to buy some supplies (forgotten in waterloo), trying to tow someone out of the ditch (to no avail - people have no idea how to drive their own cars), watching the last waltz, and - of course - celebrating the new year. went to bed fairly early, after the chapagne. woke up monday feeling good (as a result of the ear plugs purchased following the night of no sleep). made a big breakfast, cleaned and packed, and then headed out for home. lots of tea, pee stops, and music, then dropped off ryan and heidi who hitched a ride, and then to my parents for our annual new years day dinner with friends - including a kids table, and homemade mustard sauce. after we all stuffed ourselves and said our goodbyes, we headed out for a moment of peace. ended the long weekend with 6 feet under, and silence. and it was golden.
AND
i spent some time celebrating the exciting news from my friends.... a new pregnancy, and a new munchkin, born just in time for the new year. i'm elated about the news from cait and mat (and my little nephew N), and over the moon for nater and bri, and my newly born little niece F.
2013 is going to be a good year.
in case you missed them, my 2012 summaries:

thank you.

short but sweet. just thank you all. for 2012. it's been a year. with ups and downs, lots of fantastic memories, and plenty to remember for years to come. it may sound contrived, but you were all a huge part of it... those of you who are my dear friends, those who comment, those who follow me on twitter, those who i never even know are watching. this blog is a huge part of my life, and though many of the people closest to me don't even know i have it, it's something i hold near and dear. what began as a summary of my life, when i parted ways with friends for my masters degree, has grown into something so wonderful. i love writing, and i love sharing. i love having a virtual scrapbook of my life, and something to refer to... and i'm getting more and more used to strangers coming up to me, and commenting on small parts of my life. though i'm sure that will always be a bit hilariously strange.
thank you for your loyalty, and thank you for your support. i hope you enjoy being with me here in my space of the internet, as much as i enjoy filling it with words, photos, and memories. i promise i'll keep doing what i'm doing, as long as you keep doing what you're doing too.
i'd love to hear your reflections of this past year - what were your favourite memories, favourite blog posts, favourite songs, or favourite weekends of your own? what did you spend your time on? what did you like that i wrote, and what do you want less of?
thanks again. to all of you. i know over 4000 of you read my absurdly boring post on jewelry hangers, so there MUST be a demand for my ramblings somewhere - and i always love knowing who you are!
to another year of continued love and success for you all, in 2013.

2012 in summary: what 2012 meant to me....

as with last year, i truly believe that reflection on your place in life, and what that brings, is the reason we are given touch points - yearly reminders of where we once were.

Valley: had some unexpected health issues - aside from the back stuff - that took a serious toll on me this year. prevented me from taking 2 trips i had planned - to NYC, and to Florida for a wedding. riddled me with mono and kidney stones, for over 6 months. it was unexpected, and certainly unwelcome. exhausting to continue to work, and live life, while battling against it all year. but it did make the good, that much better.

Mountain: i succeeded in having re:claim placed for sale in a store i very much respect - and had my first taste of store front retail success. very cool, after so many years of selling and commissioning jewelry out of my apartment, to have it stretch out to strangers. I found some work and career related climbs – challenges that stood in my way – but that’s the thing about mountains. The harder you fight, the higher you get. Those obstacles met me with a ton of resistance, but in the end, they left me at the top with a higher skill set, a more padded resume, and so much more inner confidence and strength… so we’ll see what that means for the future, when I reflect on this next year (hopefully)!

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Swiftly moving rivers: this year was busy. in fact, that's a bit of an understatement. i filled my 'spare time' with working hard on redeveloping my blog, my business, and making tons of jewelry. i filled moments with photography, and design, and failing miserably at lots of stuff.... which, to me, means learning. i even stopped writing for awhile. It was fast paced, and crazy. It was jam packed. And it was exhilarating. Things moved quickly, and things continue to move quickly – and I learned to not fight against the current… to let it pick me up, and carry me along.
Calm streams and ponds: I committed to the things I forced upon myself last year, and actually took time to myself. 1 in 15 times I said ‘no’ to social engagements. I spent time in bed. I stayed up late when I should have been sleeping to read, or actually catch up on emails or letters. I took trips, and I took weekends alone. I spent time dedicated to me – and this is a first. And I found, that despite it being an insanely busy, crazy, jam packed year… I felt more at peace with my life, and appreciated so so much more the time I had to myself. Which, in turn, helped me to appreciate the time I spent with friends too. Time spent with them was more calm, and longer – I committed to lengthier visits, which meant much more quality time. I think I’ll even force myself to expand on these things in 2013 – saying ‘no’ more often and yes in a more valuable way.

Sunrises: i spent a lot of time this year working hard to develop me, and my creative loves. i spent hours on hours on jewelry - but not just finished pieces. the time i spent on developing my own creative skills - with photoshop courses, practice, and getting out with a camera, and some elbow grease - was immense this year. i think that this year i invested in myself, and my loves - creativity in photography, jewelry design, graphics, and print. and i'm seeing the fruits of my hard work develop in the immersion of countless oppourtunities presenting themselves - design project work, people asking about photography, and stores seeking ME out for jewelry. i see these new beginnings as a direct result of the time and energy i've finally granted myself to focus on being the most creative me possible.

Sunsets: the loss of a man who meant a great deal to everyone in my family - my uncle's passing. he taught us how to love life, how to dance to the music - and if there was none, how to make your own. he taught us that tie dye is never inappropriate. i also lost a friend - pete. that loss came with so many inexplicable feelings... and it reminded me more than ever - and more close to home than ever before - that life is too short. 
but the beautiful thing about sunsets? they always make way to even more sunrises. 

2012 in summary: moments to remember

last year i looked at all of the small things that meant big things along the way. this year is no different. there were a lot of big moments.

via
a few of those big moments were... 
best moment of joy: being able to stand beside one of my best friends in the world, and support him in his marriage to a really kick ass chick. no question. 
hardest moment of pain: not a lot of people know, but i spent a large majority of 2012 not really speaking with my sister. not that i think family items and issues are something that should be spread and shared to strangers across the web, but in our finally sitting down to talk, and hash things out, i was reminded of how painful 10 months of missing her was. and it was not lost on me, how important family relationships are to my life.
favourite memory of laughter: as ridiculous as it sounds, my favourite moments of laughter were those simple moments with friends - beading workshops with some ladies that hurt my gut from laughter, moments between jeff and i that no one else could possibly understand, in which we were both without words (even if we wanted to speak) over something so ridiculous, and a Christmas celebration with friends that left my cheeks hurting from smiles. and though so many amazing and hilarious things happened this year (when you stop laughing, you start crying - and it's so much better to laugh), i can recall those three moments perfectly - and they still make me laugh.
largest lesson taught/learned: that sometimes, we have to do what's right for us. it may not fit into other's plans (in fact, often it doesn't), but we have to do it. because our heart says we should, and our bodies need it. i spent 2012 hearing my head tell me to stay in place, things will be fine - with my heart pulling at me, telling me the opposite. i finally listened to my heart. and it's made for happy decision making. 
hardest goodbye: my uncle passed this year, and left a family broken hearted. we were torn between relief - in that he was able to dance again, and play music, and be his beloved self in heaven - and pain. 3 sisters (my mom and aunts) who lost a life long companion, and 7 nieces and nephews who are without their playmate and friend - lost an uncle. we all miss him whole heartedly... and life just isn't the same without him.  
my uncle's goodbye - collage of his acheivements 

favourite hello: i'm sure everyone has gathered that my lovely boyfriend's name is jeff. he was my favourite hello, because he was a reacquainted hello. we went from being friends long ago, to being sort of friends (but more the kind who you say hi to when you see them around) as he was friends with my sister, then he moved to  BC and though i saw him on one of my trips, we stayed sort of friends. then he moved home, moved to toronto, and we spent time together. and the rest is history. It wasn’t a new hello… but it was an important hello, in a different way, to a long time friend. And my favourite one of the year.
most important movie to me this year: the perks of being a wallflower. though i only watched it recently, it meant things times a million. it's words reflected so deep within me, and i felt so much more in a movie about a kid in high school, than i felt in movies i watched all year about people my age. it meant everything at that exact moment.


 “it's much easier to not know things sometimes. things change and friends leave. and life doesn't stop for anybody. i wanted to laugh. or maybe get mad. or maybe shrug at how strange everybody was, especially me. i think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life and than make the choice to share it with other people. maybe that is what makes people "participate.” you can't just sit their and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. you just can't. you have to do things. i'm going to do what i want to do. i'm going to be who i really am. and i'm going to figure out what that is. and we could all sit around and wonder and feel bad about each other and blame a lot of people for what they did or didn't do or what they didn't know. i don't know. i guess there could always be someone to blame. it's just different. maybe it's good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, i think that the only perspective is to really be there. because it's okay to feel things. i was really there. and that was enough to make me feel infinite. i feel infinite.” 


most important book for me this year: the great gatsby. every year there is one - and this year, there was no question that this one spoke to my needed peace in life at that very moment. 

‘he smiled understandingly – much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced – or seemed to face – the whole eternal world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favour. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey.’


favourite song of the year: i'm torn... and because it's my blog, i can do what i want. this is a tie - between two songs that i've seen performed live this year, which solidified their place in my heart. they are two songs that meant so much to me - for their meaning and their emotion perfectly paired with the music they float alongside with. deer tick's 'goodbye, dear friend', and first aid kit's 'emmy lou'. loss paired with hope. pain paired with longing. and i feel as though these two songs perfectly capture what 2012 was - both painful and wonderful...

“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.” ― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower


what memories are you leaving this year with?

2012 in summary: my favourite memories of 2012

last year, right before the new year, i compiled a list of memories that made me smile from the year before... and i like that that did... it reminded me that despite what may have seemed like a dismal year, there were plenty of good things. and as i have been posting about things that make me smile - little things - in and amongst seemingly hard times, i feel as though it's important to reflect on what the year brought. and what made me smile throughout all those months. 
this year, i will do the same.
so.... my favourite memory from…
January: taking a road trip with hma to visit our friend jess in kingston... amongst the rain and snow. also, would could forget - my amazing and wonderful grandma turned 80. whatta woman. and, despite a hairline fracture in my hip and one of my vertebraes (and people ask why i hate winter and snow/ice so much), i enjoyed so much dancing with friends.... cause we got to have 2 holiday parties this year! hurrah!
February: i travelled to florida with my family, and got to spend a solid week with my sister, parents, aunt, uncle, and cousin. and without reason, it was a wonderful, much needed time. plus, we got to see cody simpson - i know. jealous. erin and i also spent a lot of time in february exploring new bars for new and fabulous drinks.... and the snow couldn't keep us away.
March: am i allowed to say that st. patricks day is my favourite memory, every year? because it nearly always is. and, of course, the madness. march madness. trumps everything else in the world that's going on.
April: i finally took a photoshop course, offered by ladies learning code, and just. about. collapsed (from happiness). i then spent the rest of the month using everything i learned. aside from - of course - spending time with friends, this was the best thing i did that month. so perfect.
May:  though i missed my friend's annual mini olympics (and announcement of the new baby - pregnancy - to join our friend group!), i did get up to a cottage... and got one of the best presents ever... a cardboard cutout of me. i ALSO got to travel via the via to see my good lovely friends emily, leigh and elisa in ottawa. zombie jokes, drinks, and laughter abounded. and, i taught my first standalone jewelry workshop. so fun, and a good start out for the year's workshops to come.
June: despite mono (nice jamie, nice), i took a weekend to literally get away, and relax. and that's it. it was wonderful. and within the context of a month that really only included cancelled trips, and hard work, it was much needed, and much appreciated. i loved every second of it.
July: i went to van. again. and loved every second of it. i almost died (on a four wheeler), and i fell in love (with whistler, and parts of Van i had never seen). and it was marvelous. oh. and. i got to spend a weekend with one of my best friends in the world, and hang out with him and the guys at his bachelor party. let's just say, i'm not sure many bachelorettes can top i. 
August: jake and kim got married. and it was amazing and awesome, and i got to stand up beside jake and support their partnership. and i couldn't imagine being happier about it. it was perfect and wonderful and lovely, and emotional. (and i got to attend kim's bachelorette.... amazing). 
September: my birfday was home to plenty of amazing and incredible friend attendees. i had a day-of-birth celebration, and i got to eat at enoteca sociale. then i had a surprise morning with vegan cupcake celebration, and THEN i got to see kiss and motley crue, and THEN i got to see first aid kit. pretty much nailed having a good time in september. also dope? one of my dear friends from high school was married, and had a kick ass reception involving homemade wine, and a puck'n'wing bar celebration.
October: my friend jess got married (and came to celebrate with us, all the way from merry ole' england!); i hiked, visited friends, spent time in cabins, and made jewelry. AND spent one of the most memorable thanksgivings to date - in ellicottville, then peterborough, then the cottage, then waterdown, then ancaster. it was exhausting, but a reminder of how much family and love i'm surrounded with. man - i'm lucky. and homecoming. oh homecoming.
November: our annual holiday party (2 in one year!), which was (as usual) perfectly filled with little munchkin love, present exchanges, warm and delicious food, conversations with people far away, and love. so much love. i also was blessed/lucky to go to the grey cup this year in toronto. totally memorable. there was cupcake wars (as part of our annual united way campaign at work), and baby showers. and, of course, one of my favourite times of the year - movember. 
December: i wish i could explain what components sometimes just align in order to create the perfect social setting - i really wish i do. but i can't. so i can't even come close to explaining why my beading 'workshop' with some random lady friends (who are near and dear to me) was one of the most fun nights i've ever had. ever. it was filled with gut crunching laughter, amazing food, and hearts that were so filled with compassion and a shared love for fun. as steph said following the night's events, "As cheesy as it may sound last night was good for my soul."
man. 2012 was dope.