I’m happy to say that I have a fantastic relationship with my dad – it wasn’t always that way, and most of my closest friends are constantly shocked to see how we ended up… based on my years living at home, and the things we put eachother through. nevertheless, I am lucky to have a strong, wonderful, compassionate, talented, likable man as my father.
so when i found
this post, on an amazingly wonderful website, i was awestruck - how could strangers possibly understand the relationship that a little girl has with her dad? and yet, they did. not only does this website understand the relationship that a girl has with her dad, but it understands how important a dad/daughter relationship is... and notes what dads can do to establish and mold that bond that no one can replicate.
a few of my favourite ones, as i read through:
2. Always be there. Quality time doesn’t happen without quantity time. Hang out together for no other reason than just to be in each other’s presence. Be genuinely interested in the things that interest her. She needs her dad to be involved in her life at every stage. Don’t just sit idly by while she add years to her… add life to her years.
6. Buy her a glove and teach her to throw a baseball. Make her proud to throw like a girl… a girl with a wicked slider.
18. Tell her she’s beautiful. Say it over and over again. Someday an animated movie or “beauty” magazine will try to convince her otherwise.
20. Take her camping. Immerse her in the great outdoors. Watch her eyes fill with wonder the first time she sees the beauty of wide open spaces. Leave the iPod at home.
22. She’s as smart as any boy. Make sure she knows that.
41. Take it easy on the presents for her birthday and Christmas. Instead, give her the gift of experiences you can share together.
146. Take lots of pictures together. You never know when one of you won’t be around to smile for the camera anymore.
126. Take her on a date. Show her how she should expect to be treated when she turns 30 and can start dating men other than you.
121. She can run just as fast as any boy. She will forget this fact from time to time. It’s your job to remind her.
113. “Kids are like bowling balls. Sometimes you just gotta let ‘em go, and hope they don’t end up in the gutter.”
106. The storms of life will come. When they do, offer her your umbrella.
103. Brush her hair when she’s a little girl. It will be one of her fondest memories someday.
97. What’s that you say? You need daddy to paint your nails? Absolutely!
93. She will cry. Often. Always have tissues. If a tissue cannot be found, your shoulder is a great substitute.
I have a father who has been using the past 5 or 6 years to make sure he does all of these things – he calls me just to talk, we spend father/daughter weekends together, he has heart-to-hearts, and makes sure to say, ‘I love you’ at the end of every phone call, no matter how menial the conversation was. when we were little girls, he let us paint his toenails, and wore his pink, blue and green toenails like medal of honour (despite the harrassment he received on the baseball field when he removed his socks to display our art to the team). he brought us camping, took us on dates (my baby sister and him had a standing tim hortons date every day for a year when he took a year off of work in 1995), took tons of videos of us growing up, and let us weather our own storms.
and perhaps most importantly, he told us we could run, throw, hit (a baseball), and play like any boys we knew. and that we were smarter than any boy - because we were strong, independant, and beautiful women. and despite how much many of my teachers and friends probably despise that feminist streak in me now, that has stuck with me. he never ever wished he had 3 boys instead of 3 girls - because he simply did those things with us that a dad would do with his sons, as well as the things a dad can do with his daughters.
these are things we should all do with the people we care about - but specifically, if you are the father (or mother) of a little girl.... focus on these things specifically. they have a whole life ahead of them... they need to be prepared with a wicked slider, and a confidence that can't be shaken.